It was one year ago today that Jordan checked himself into
the hospital for alcohol abuse.
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| This is the last drink that Jordan ever had and his band from each hospital visit. He keeps them as a reminder of the life that he never wants to go back to. |
I remember it so well.
He had just gotten back from a family road trip to Florida
where everything that could go wrong while driving, did go wrong. He had been
gone for 5 days and every night when we talked on the phone he said he was so
sick he felt like he was dying. He knew there was a problem and so did his
family but no one wanted to say anything about it. That is not until his
Grandma whom he had not seem in over a year saw him for the first time and
blurted out, “You look like shit!”
So when Jordan came home everyone was concerned. His mom
took us out to lunch and it was in that booth that Jordan made the decision to
go to the hospital that afternoon. Little did we know the long journey that was
ahead of us.
It has been a long and hard year to say the least. We have
been tested in so many areas. But you know what they say about testing, it’s to
make us stronger. Our marriage is stronger now than it has ever been, our faith
is stronger as we trusted God with the unknown. Our relationships are stronger
with family and friends because we needed them to lean on for support.
I am so thankful to God for that season of hardship and
hospital visits and doctor appointments and medical tests and waiting rooms and
acting like an at-home nurse to care for Jordan when he was so helpless. I am
thankful for all of it because it has shaped me into the women I am now. My
trust in God is more grounded than before and our marriage is more centered
then ever.
I have my husband back. The man I fell in love with almost 7
years ago. It’s so beautiful to see the work that God has done in Jordan’s
heart and mind. He is so gracious and tender and funny and loving and positive
and wonderful.
This past Father’s Day we were at Starbucks reminiscing
about that awful road trip to Florida and Jordan told his parents, “I am
grateful to God for allowing me to be as sick as I was, because if He didn’t, I
don’t know if I could have stopped drinking.”
God knew what it would take to bring Jordan back and to save
his life. I truly believe that God chose to save Jordan’s life in the hospital
and used the power of prayer to bring it about. When he was in the hospital
only 5 months ago I didn’t care who knew I just wanted them to pray for God to
save him.
Through this past year I have clung to certain sermons and
songs that speak truth when I was too tired or weary to speak them to myself.
One of those truths was from my pastor when he was speaking on Lamentations 3.
He talked about the verse that says, “It is good for a man to bear the yoke in
his youth. " He went on and said, “If you are under the age of 30 and God has put
you in a season of waiting, like God has leveled you with suffering, you better
be thankful!”
Watching that on my computer screen that morning I felt like he
was speaking directly to me. He goes on, “You should be thankful because God
has given you the perspective to see life differently. So that for the rest of your life you can
live out grace and mercy, and be compassionate and sensitive to others and the
Bible says that is good.” What a
gift! God wanted us to endure this hard year so we can serve and be gracious to
others who are struggling.
So today we are celebrating one year of sobriety in Jordan’s
life and God’s faithfulness to us through this hard season. Thank you to
everyone who prayed for us and encouraged us and to help support us. We truly
could not have made it through without you.
The steadfast love of
the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every
morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
The Lord is not slow
to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not
wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
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