I changed blogging platforms!

I wanted to tell everyone who is subscribed to this blog to check out my new blog design over at wordpress.com!

Blogger has been good to me but it's time for an update and more user friendly settings.

Check out my new post about what I am learning about nutrition over there. 

Thanks for coming along for the journey! I am so blessed to have you. 

Creating Systems that Work for You

We have had a pretty good couple of weeks at the Pugh house. I feel as though things are finally starting to come together. Maybe not in the way that most would think. Jordan is still unable to work and we still have mountains of medical debt but have a handle on it at least. Anyway, I was talking to Jordan a few weeks ago and I mentioned how I feel as though I finally feel “caught up.”

For so long I have always had this long to-do list that never seemed to get done. There were always things left on the list and I never felt like I could cross every item off. Jordan said that I should just stop making lists but he just didn’t understand…

I told him the difference now is my mindset towards the whole thing. I made the shift in my mind that logically I knew there will always be things on the to-do list but I feel like I have control over them in the form of systems that work for me.

Like podcasts for example. I freaking love podcasts.

I do my workouts by watching a video podcast on Yoga. I learn about various topics that interest me like history, economics, productivity, self-improvement, nutrition, money, sermons and others through podcasts. I even had my own Games of Thrones commentary podcast that I was obsessed with while the show was running. Podcasts are amazing!

This is just one tool I use to keep me learning and improving in the areas that I wish to grow more. Another tool that I love and that really works for me is my planner. The maker of the planner was the one to introduce me to the idea of creating systems that work for me. By using her planner I know better how to look ahead and organize my month, week, etc.

One of the things she teaches in her setup videos for the planner is automating the things that you can. For instance I order my groceries online and have the dog food delivered to my door. That really works for me and saves me a lot of time. I also have most of my bills done online or via automatic payment. (I have a separate calendar with all of the days that bills are coming out so when I go to do my bi-weekly budget I know what is coming up.)

These are examples of how I have created systems I know work for me and that require just a little time to set up in the beginning. But once I do that I can step back and let them run on their own while I do the things I want with my time.

I am much more intentional with my days off now. I make sure and take care of the things that are actually on my to-do list, like emails, making calls/appointments, doing research, cleaning, laundry etc. to get done in the morning when Jordan is sleeping so in the afternoon and evening we can spend time together.

I am a lot better at following through on the things on my to-do list as well. For instance, I would write on my to-do list, call IU about pending expenses. A year ago that would have stayed on the to-do list for weeks for various reasons. I didn’t know all the details, I don’t like calling about debt, I don’t like talking to people on the phone when I am unsure about why I am calling because that will make me sound stupid, etc. In my mind the call would take a long time and I would be on hold forever or they would ask for things that I didn’t have, just making excuses like that all the time.  I didn’t want to do it so I would let it sit on my to-do list for weeks starting at me.

Until one day I heard this from somewhere I don’t remember, ‘things never take as long as you imagine they are going to.’ So I changed my thinking to, ‘these things need to get done no matter what, so I just need to do them now and get them off my to-do list because it probably won’t take as long as I originally thought.’And invariably every time I thought that I would make myself dial the number or do whatever uncomfortable thing first and it always ended up getting done 10 times quicker that what I thought it would. 

So when I was talking to Jordan about feeling like I had finally “caught up” I guess what I meant to say was that I have figured out systems that work for me. I feel I have grasped the task of delegating and creating systems and completing necessary tasks efficiently so that I can focus on the things that I really do what to do with my life. I feel like before I couldn’t even think about those things because I was always worried and anxious about getting things done or spending more time than necessary on them.

And now that I am not always worried about getting my to-do lists done or anxious about never completing anything I can ask myself, ‘now that those things are not there what am I going to do with my time?’ I have already started to answer that question and the answers are really exciting to me.

Celebrating 1 Year of Jordan's Sobriety

It was one year ago today that Jordan checked himself into the hospital for alcohol abuse.

This is the last drink that Jordan ever had and his band from each hospital visit.
He keeps them as a reminder of the life that he never wants to go back to.  

I remember it so well.

He had just gotten back from a family road trip to Florida where everything that could go wrong while driving, did go wrong. He had been gone for 5 days and every night when we talked on the phone he said he was so sick he felt like he was dying. He knew there was a problem and so did his family but no one wanted to say anything about it. That is not until his Grandma whom he had not seem in over a year saw him for the first time and blurted out, “You look like shit!”

So when Jordan came home everyone was concerned. His mom took us out to lunch and it was in that booth that Jordan made the decision to go to the hospital that afternoon. Little did we know the long journey that was ahead of us.

It has been a long and hard year to say the least. We have been tested in so many areas. But you know what they say about testing, it’s to make us stronger. Our marriage is stronger now than it has ever been, our faith is stronger as we trusted God with the unknown. Our relationships are stronger with family and friends because we needed them to lean on for support.

I am so thankful to God for that season of hardship and hospital visits and doctor appointments and medical tests and waiting rooms and acting like an at-home nurse to care for Jordan when he was so helpless. I am thankful for all of it because it has shaped me into the women I am now. My trust in God is more grounded than before and our marriage is more centered then ever.

I have my husband back. The man I fell in love with almost 7 years ago. It’s so beautiful to see the work that God has done in Jordan’s heart and mind. He is so gracious and tender and funny and loving and positive and wonderful.

This past Father’s Day we were at Starbucks reminiscing about that awful road trip to Florida and Jordan told his parents, “I am grateful to God for allowing me to be as sick as I was, because if He didn’t, I don’t know if I could have stopped drinking.”

God knew what it would take to bring Jordan back and to save his life. I truly believe that God chose to save Jordan’s life in the hospital and used the power of prayer to bring it about. When he was in the hospital only 5 months ago I didn’t care who knew I just wanted them to pray for God to save him.

Through this past year I have clung to certain sermons and songs that speak truth when I was too tired or weary to speak them to myself. One of those truths was from my pastor when he was speaking on Lamentations 3. He talked about the verse that says, “It is good for a man to bear the yoke in his youth. " He went on and said, “If you are under the age of 30 and God has put you in a season of waiting, like God has leveled you with suffering, you better be thankful!” 

Watching that on my computer screen that morning I felt like he was speaking directly to me. He goes on, “You should be thankful because God has given you the perspective to see life differently.  So that for the rest of your life you can live out grace and mercy, and be compassionate and sensitive to others and the Bible says that is good.” What a gift! God wanted us to endure this hard year so we can serve and be gracious to others who are struggling.

So today we are celebrating one year of sobriety in Jordan’s life and God’s faithfulness to us through this hard season. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us and encouraged us and to help support us. We truly could not have made it through without you.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Life Lately at the Pugh House

I wanted to give a "non-medical" update on us and share what we have been up to these past few weeks. A proper update will be coming soon as well as some insight and lessons learned from all this, but for now I just wanted to be a little candid and share a little peek at our day-to-day lives and what we have been enjoying recently.
We are truly blessed.

Watching (shows): 

Since Jordan’s hospitalization we fell behind on all of our regular shows. Since coming home and adjusting we recently finished some shows and still have a few episode left on others. 

We finished Limitless, which if you haven’t seen is phenomenal. It’s a continuation of the movie that we both loved.

We still have not finished The Walking Dead. I know, what is wrong with us. We always joke to each other that we should probably finish TWD soon but then never do. One day we will.

Jordan finished watching Daredevil. I still have about half the season left to watch because insomniac Jordan didn’t want to wait for me. Another show that Jordan watches at night when he can’t sleep is Person of Interest. 

Still going strong on Games of Thrones.

I am finished with The Big Bang Theory. I didn't realize that I was watching the finale when I did which happened to a lot of people? But I have always loved this show and it has a special place in my heart, I know that's cheesy but to me it’s almost like my therapy after a long day.

Jordan and I have been slowly making our way through Parks and Recreation which is hands down the best comedy show we have ever watched together. We have a deep love for this show and laugh every time we watch it and each episode seems to be better than the last. It's been great knowing that we have some episodes of Parks and Rec to watch. We are in the middle of season 5 and I think I could honestly watch reruns of that show for the rest of my life I love it so much. 

I have also started watching Gilmore Girls again. I watched all 7 seasons one summer back in high school. It’s silly and fast and crazy and I can’t take too much of it, but it’s nice to have it on in the background.

Watching (documentaries):

Cooked. A truly magical look at the way in which humans cook their food and the impact that the food industry has had on the world in the last few decades. It will educate you on the new science of nutrition, explore other cultures and traditions, and inspire you to spend more time cooking for yourself instead of entrusting the food industry to cook for you. 

The True Cost. This documentary truly left me feeling ashamed for ever working in retail. It explores who makes our clothing and will forever change how you shop and buy clothes.

The Human Planet. This is a fascinating look at how different people groups live around the world.

My Beautiful Broken Brain is an interesting look at a women who suffered a life changing stroke.

Brain Games is a fun show that takes a closer look at how truly remarkable the human brain is by giving you games and quizzes throughout the show.

Eating:

If you follow me on Instagram you know that I have been cooking more. I post more everyday happenings over there. We have been trying our best to eat better due to Jordan’s needs. We failed pretty bad last month but just recently I have been doing better with meal planning, prepping and cooking.

It’s always a process integrating something new into our lifestyle but I am determined to make it a part of our lives. I know it will benefit us greatly in the long run. And I just feel so much better and I think that is reason enough.

Listening:

I have been listening to a few different podcasts recently. I always enjoy listening to podcasts when I am either getting ready in the morning doing my makeup or on the way to work. Other times I will listen to them when I am cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, that kind of thing. I like having someone talk to me at all times!

Freakanomics Radio. This past month on the podcast has been self-improvement month at Freakanomics so they had episodes about how to be productive, how to have grit, and how to win games and beat people. More recent episodes talk about why you should not be afraid to fly and an older episode that I found fascinating was the history of the pencil and the disappearance of handwriting. It’s a lighthearted podcast that will make you think.

The Art of Charm. This is a recent one that I have found. It talks about how to be productive in business, relationships and life. I don't pay attention to the post os relationship really but the ones that they have posted recently about productivity and happiness have been really interesting. 

Coffee&Crumbs. This is admittedly a podcast about motherhood but some of the topics are really interesting and I think can relate to a lot of different people whether or not you have kids. Ok, maybe not the episode all about potty training. But it talks about other marriage and gives a good perspective for mom's in all stages. 

College Park Church. When I want to catch up on the latest sermon or listen to an oldie but a goodie I can always listen to my Pastor Mark. This is a good place for expository preaching and gives me encouragement. 

The Dave Ramsey Show. When I want a dose of reality to smack me in the face or need a little motivation to stay on track I tune into this popular show. I can tune into a recent episode of the 3 hour show to hear Dave speaking truth about money, boundaries, stupid tax, and weather or not you should sell that car.

You can also go to my YouTube Channel to see what kind of music I like and what I usually listen to.

Reading: 

I have not been reading as much as I would like, (isn’t that everyone!), but I have started the book In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. It’s basically a history of nutrition science and the food industry and how it’s teaching us what to eat instead of us cooking food for ourselves. It ties in with his other book Cooked which was recently turned into a documentary of the same name. I highly recommend that documentary. It was eye opening and dare I say life changing for me. I can’t stop talking about it just ask my family.

I also picked up the wildly popular Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee. I am a little late to this game but I adore To Kill a Mocking Bird that I know I will enjoy her newest book. 

Doing: 
When Jordan and I are not doing one of the above activities we are usually doing something around our house. Jordan has been doing more work in the yard. He has finished the fence in our backyard and mulched our entire front yard. I am so proud of all of his hard work. I have been organizing the home and adding to my list of small projects to be completed.

We have really been enjoying our dog, a retired racing greyhound, so much! In just a few weeks it will have been a year since we got him. His name is Tommen and we usually just call him Duppy or a variation thereof. He is the best dog for us and a great companion for Jordan. We enjoy babying him and giving him lots of treats and watching him run in our back yard.

We are excited for a few changes that we will be making and what those changes will allow us to do. We are planning our future together and are happy with the situation we are in right now. Of course there are things that are not ideal and things that we would like to see change, but we make the best of every situation and try to have a positive attitude towards life.

Here's My Heart Lord

A song that has really spoken to me during the last few months. I love the words to this song. Enjoy.

i am found

i am yours

i am loved

i am made pure

i have life

i can breathe

i am healed

i am free

cause you are strong

you are sure

you are life

you endure

and you are good

always true

you are light breaking through

and you are more than enough

you are here

you are love

you are hope

you are grace

you're all i have

you're everything

8 Things to Tell Yourself When Life is Hard

I wanted to take a minute to write down some truths that I have been speaking into my heart and mind recently. I know myself and I know that I need to be filling my mind with positive thoughts otherwise I would not be a productive or pleasant human. I also don’t want to waste a trial because I know it’s God’s way of making me more like Jesus. So here are 8 simple truths that I recite to myself daily to keep me focused on the positive things in life even though all around me feels like chaos.

Hard is not bad, it’s just hard

Just because you are going through a hard season in life does not make what is happening to you a bad thing. It’s a hard season and not a waste of time. Sometimes it’s the hard times in life where God gets a hold of your heart in a way that you would not have responded to before.

I first heard this from my pastor as he was preaching through the book of Job. During that sermon series he was always saying that he wanted us to know how to suffer well. Because he said if you haven’t had hard times in your life you just hadn’t lived long enough. And when he said that in 2010 he was right.

This truth alone has gotten me through so many nights when I would cry myself to sleep because my situation was so hard I didn’t think I could bear it much longer. But that doesn’t mean life has to be bad. My life is pretty good when you put things into perspective. Just because you are going through a hard time does not mean that what you are suffering through is a bad thing; just a conduit to the lesson that God is trying to teach you. It may be something that you will endure for a long time or not, but it’s all in Gods timing and He knows best.

If is wasn’t this is would be something else

I first heard this from one of my favorite movies and for whatever reason it stuck with me. If what you are struggling though were not in your life that it would be a different problem. Not to say that we are all doomed to have problems in life and that we can’t be without struggles. But I like this because it shows that no matter who we are we all have something in our lives that we are struggling through, small though it may be.

I like to think of it as accepting, not rejecting, what is happing at the moment instead of trying to wish or imagine a different outcome. Almost having the mindset that if this was not my struggle than it would be another. No matter what it is God will use it all.

The only way through it is to get through it

There is no point in wishing you didn’t have problems or that they would go away. Learning to accept things as they are and not as you would want them to be is a healthy outlook. So instead of avoiding the problem, or trying to find a short cut, or pretending that it’s not there, you just have to get through it.

This too shall pass

The age-old adage that is monogramed across coffee cups and t-shirts a like. But it’s still true. This will pass. There will be an end to this struggle; it will not go on forever. I am reminded of the verse that says, “But take heart, because I have overcome the world." Meaning that the hardships and struggles we face in this life will pass when He returns and makes all things right again. Ultimately God has defeated death and one day there will be no pain and no tears. Even if suffering in this present life is not alleviated there will be a day when all pain and sin and death will be destroyed.

It won’t always be like this

This is what I would say to Jordan when I wanted him to dream again. We would talk about how in the future things would be different and he would be healthy and have a strong body and be able to work and he would one day be a great dad with a great story to tell. I think just reminding your heart that there will be a time when life will be better and it won’t be like this is a necessary perspective to have. Otherwise we would lose hope. Even if we don’t know when that time will come, it will be better one day.

Everything is going to be ok

This is what I would tell Jordan when I didn’t know what else to say because I was scared, unsure and had no words. I would tell him that everything is going to be ok because I knew that some day it would be. No matter what, through hospital stays and painful nights and uncertainty, everything will be ok.

Just keep doing what you know is right

I would remind myself and Jordan of this simple thought when it seemed like life was unfair and that we were doomed to struggle and we were tempted to complain. I would always tell myself to just keep doing what I knew was right. Weather that’s going to church on Sunday, or serving your spouse, or being honest at work, or helping people when you can, or giving when you can, or being a responsible adult. It can be tempting to take short cuts in life or take the easy way out when life is hard but it never pays off. Just keep doing what you know is right.

Just do it

This is what I would tell myself when I needed to clean my house or tackle bills or go grocery shopping. It’s been the only reason that my house is relatively organized and clean and things are done on time because I would tell myself to just do it.

Telling myself these 8 things over and over again, day in and day out, has given me the attitude and outlook with which I deal with our present circumstances. By surrounding myself with positive people, books, articles, blogs, and music I force myself to focus on the good. This is the only reason that I attribute to staying sane these past few months. It’s been hard but it’s not been bad. If it wasn’t this it would be something else. I am doing my best to just do it and get though it. I know this will pass and that everything will be ok. One day God will make everything right and new.

When it rains it pours

I never really felt the weight of that saying until these last few weeks. After Jordan came home from the hospital it felt like life would not relent; one set back, surprise, or obstacle would present itself in the form of an unexpected tax bill or a sensitive dog with worms or a back injury or a cracked denture. It felt as though we were always destined to struggle in life.

It felt as though we were always going to be living in this perpetual state of never having enough. I was scared to even look at our financial situation because I knew the outlook would be bleak. It wasn’t until I actually sat down and filled out the budget forms that I realized we had enough for what we needed. Enough for the basics to survive, enough for another day. Just enough. That’s all we really need in life right? What we need. God truly does provide and knows what we truly need.

I didn’t realize how much my circumstances were stressing me out until I went to get my eyes checked. For the past month I have had a twitch in my left eye in addition to it being itchy and irritated. After the doctor examined my eyes and looked at large pictures of my eyeballs he informed me that everything looked really good and healthy. “Then why is my eye twitching?” I asked. Simply put he said that your eyes will twitch as an indication that the body is under stress. He asked if I had frequent headaches, migraines, sensitivity to loud sounds, and seeing specks or “floaters” in my vision. I answered yes to all of these questions and he affirmed that those are all indicators of stress.

I needed to chill out because my body was reacting to the mountains of stress that I was putting on it everyday since Jordan first went to the hospital. After this alarming realization that I was causing stress on myself and thereby my body, I decided to just let it go. Let go of trying to do everything myself, let go of my desire to control the situation, let go of my wants. There is really only so much you can do in a day and worrying or stressing about what you can't control is not going to help. Of course I know this to be true but I was still allowing myself to let it affect me. What is life without the hardships that make the good moments that much sweeter?

Here’s to giving God your problems and doing your best to make it through life the best we know how. Below is a song that has become my theme song for life. Take a listen.

“Everything can change when you make it His, He wants to carry it. 
Care free in the care of God when you let it go, 
You’ll find that He is enough, you will never leave His love. 
You don’t walk alone."